When we lost Memphis Grace almost 2 months ago, I
immediately said that I would be a voice for her. Not really sure what that
meant, I have constantly prayed that God would show me how to carry this out.
At first I thought once we had an answer as to why this happened, I would jump
on the bandwagon and be an advocate for more research, more awareness, etc. As
each test came back normal, my opportunity to be a voice for my daughter
dwindled. Last week the final test came back and it too was normal. As much as
I am thankful NOT to have a medical condition that caused the loss of our sweet
girl, I am equally as frustrated that we DO NOT have an answer. Throughout this
journey, I have been amazed at the peace God has provided for me. Sure there
have been days when I have wanted to give up but there have also been days that
I have celebrated. It has been a rollercoaster emotionally, physically,
mentally and even spiritually. Honestly I am exhausted. One thing that has
remained the same during this time is Him. When I have lost all hope, He has
provided the hope I needed. When I have felt lonely, He has opened my eyes that
He is with me and I can be alone with Him. When I break down for no reason, He
picks me up. My faith is stronger than it has ever been and now I see exactly what
it means to be a voice for Memphis Grace. My purpose in this life is to share
the Gospel through her story with others, especially those far from God. I can
say without a doubt if I was not a believer and did not have a personal relationship
with my Lord and Savior, this story would be completely different. I hate to
think of what this journey would look like if it had happened at an earlier
time in my life. I can only imagine the results would not be pretty. God is
still showing me how to be her voice but in the meantime I have decided to
start a blog and share my journey with others through writing. Not only do I
feel this is a perfect way to share the good news with others but it will be
another step in the grieving and healing process for me. I do not know what
this blog will look like, what I will write about or how often I will write but I do know it will be
honest. Some might find what I write about uncomfortable to read and I am
perfectly fine with that. It is real life. It’s not something that I planned.
It’s not something that I had time to prepare for. It happened and I want to embrace
this opportunity to impact whoever it is meant to reach.
So…hang on for the ride. Here goes nothing!
